Sorry, this title is probably misleading or sounds clickbaity. I’m not trying to do a clickbait – I’m actually trying to save all my clickbait karma for when I need it. My plan is that this blog is going to be thousands of posts about uhh.. whatever the point of this blog is (?), but then one day you’ll open it up and see some article like “The 11 Big Lessons You Learn When You Buy a Vespa”. When you see that post, guess what: I just opened a Vespa dealership. Hope you like blog posts about how to finance a Vespa purchase, and interesting facts about Vespa ownership, because that’s all you’re getting from then on.
Have you ever heard of a Vespa with three wheels? Well if someone has ever made one, I bet there’s a really interesting story behind it, and that’s the exact kind of stuff I’ll be blogging all the time once I open a Vespa dealership. I bet someone hacked together an amphibious Vespa at some point, which would make for a great blog post. This is the kind of stuff I will start researching when I began planning my Vespa dealership, but right now I have to admit I don’t know anything at all about Vespas. I don’t own a Vespa dealership, and that’s the sad part of this whole thing.
Oh yeah, so this post has nothing to do with a Vespa dealership. I was just going to talk about a web page I found. I’m not going to link it, but it was titled something like “How To Start a Blog, the Ultimate Guide”. Now, I myself am a blogger (you are reading my blog right now), and I thought I’d give the post a wee little skimjob to see what it said. Sorry, “wee little skimjob” was supposed to be something you read in maybe a Scottish accent, but I’m having serious, serious doubts over using that phrase. I’m not going to edit it, because I’m not a sellout, but I am going to apologize for it.
The blog post about starting a blog was boring, but it did have one amazing line. The writer said he would help you to avoid making expensive mistakes when starting a blog.
At first, this sounded laughable. Creating a blog is something you can easily do for free, but if you really want to do things the fanciest way, you can maybe pay up to $10/month for hosting, if you kind of try hard. It sounded like the guy was just being ridiculous and trying to sell his post way too hard.
But then I started thinking about all the expensive mistakes I’ve made over the years when it comes to starting blogs. I’ve started a lot of them, and I’m not perfect (this is called humility – I am perfect). So I thought I’d make a big list of all the expensive mistakes I’ve made:
- I have an Amazon Web Services account once and I backed up a bunch of encrypted backup data from Diaryland (blog hosting site I have) to it, but I was using one of their services (Glacier) that charged you for how much data you stored, but also per 1000 files you upload and I uploaded a file for each Diaryland user, and they charged me like $400 or something. I phoned them in a big panic and was like “I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t got no $400!” they were nice and reversed the charges though. This was almost an expensive mistake and it involved blogs.
- I bought this domain (benicetobears.com) in 1997, when domains cost $35/year. Later on, when prices came down, I was lazy and didn’t switch to a $15/year domain place for several years.
- I don’t know if it quite counts, but back in 1997, when I could have registered so, so many really good, short domain names that would have been worth lots of money later, I chose “be nice to bears dot com”. Opportunity cost-wise, I missed out on some good dough here.
- I paid Michael Bierut from the famous Pentagram design studio $500,000 to make a logo for this site, but when he delivered it I forgot to upload it, and then I stored it on a dollar store CD-R when i was freeing up HD space to store some MIDI files. The CD-R got scratched and won’t open and now I’m too embarrassed to email them for another copy.
- I wanted to write a blog post about African Penguin ownership, so I had several birds flown over, which cost $20,000, but it just didn’t pan out. One of the penguins bit off part of my finger.
- Same thing as mistake #5, but with a tiger. That’s right, I had a tiger imported over to Canada from Africa, and it cost $20,000. It sounds dumb, but guys, you just can’t make this stuff up. This tiger also bit off part of a finger. I’ve only got 8 full fingers left.
Hey let’s get back to the Vespa thing for a second. Do you know the main advantage of owning a Vespa over something like a Smart Car? I don’t either, but does it sound interesting, is this something I should write up once I start up my Vespa dealership? And what’s the difference between a Vespa and an electric bike? I don’t know! I can’t wait to start my Vespa dealership, it’s going to rule.