Revolving Restaurants

The future is probably going to be very robotic and extremely efficient. It’s already sort of like that – every new big business is very professional, and everything is very logical. Apple became incredibly successful by making computers, so they decided to make computer-phones as well, and then computer-tablets, and then computer-watches.

I miss the old way of doing things in weird ways that weren’t completely logical. The best example of this to me is revolving restaurants. Around the 1960s, the way I imagine it, some guy was looking at a beautiful view, and he said “People would like to see this. People would pay some money to see this. People would pay even more money if they could look at this for like an hour, and eat the whole time. And you know what, we could probably charge $20 extra for a steak if the whole restaurant was revolving.”

Just think about that: “we could probably charge $20 extra for a steak if the whole restaurant was revolving” – it’s not a direct quote, but I quoted it and put it in bold anyway, just because that looks kind of dramatic. That’s a blogger tip for you. A little gravitas goes a long way. And a lot of gravitas goes even further. This is blogger wisdom that has been lost to the ages. I honestly don’t know why I’m still typing this paragraph.

But anyway, just think about that: Why should the steak cost more just because the restaurant revolves? It doesn’t make logical sense, but it just works. It just works. I’m doing that thing again where I repeat something and put it in bold. You see this trick on blogs like Slate or Medium all the time, it’s extremely shit.

I sort of got off topic, but anyway, revolving restaurants: They came, they were extremely successful, they still do very well, but they’re not building many new ones I bet. They just seem sort of dumb.

You know what else probably seems dumb to a lot of people? A little company named Apple Computers going ahead and making a whole range of cakes and selling them in Apple Stores. This is something I think would do amazingly well.

People love buying Apple products so much, and Apple love charging a very high retail markup for products, but there are only a certain number of things anyone can buy from Apple in any one year. But if they made cakes, they could definitely sell them for maybe $80 and tons of people would buy them. People would buy them every week, and it’d be a big talking point with their guests. People eat so much cake, this is the most obvious idea in the world. But it’ll probably never happen.