The other day, I was wearing a pretty ludicrous, misshapen sweatshirt that I own. I looked pretty dumb, and I passed my camera to someone, so that I could get a photo.
I got home and as I began to go through the six or sevens photos, it occurred to me that maybe I should post one online. It turned out that I couldn’t, because I looked much too goofy in them (I deleted them all, in case you were expecting me to post one).
While I was comparing them, though, I was forced to look at myself for about two or three minutes, and it got me very agitated. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but then I realized that it was my face. While reviewing the pictures, I was forced to look at my face over and over – way too much.
I realized that the problem isn’t that my face isn’t fat or an unpleasant shape – it is both of these things, but that’s not the problem – I think the real issue was that I’m just sick of looking at my face. I’ve been looking at it at least several times a day for pretty much my whole life – enough is enough.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about being tired of their face. I don’t understand why it isn’t a more common thing. I never judge people personally on their faces, but let’s be honest, some of the faces you see out there – they’re not all great.
Realistically, I’d say maybe 10% of faces are great, and the rest are average. So for that top group, sure, go ahead, look at your face all the time, take all the selfies you want, you’ve got a great face – but if I had to estimate how much of the population is in that upper tenth percentile, it’s probably only 15-20%.
So why isn’t everybody else sick of their own face? Who cares. Anyway, I’ve decided to try and spend the next year without looking at my own face.
You might be saying “Andrew, is this like 2014 where you swore you were going to eat 600 steaks in one year, and then you barely made it to 200?” – not really, the problem then was that beef prices went way up locally.
You might be saying “Andrew, is this like 2016 where you swore you were going to eat 2000 chicken wings?” – well I don’t actually remember how many I said, but shut up, 2016 isn’t done yet and I still have a pretty clear shot at hitting that number.